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Good owd Meawrks an' Speawrks.
Ah'm reight luckin' for'ard tu Christmas,
It seemd such a long time sin last year,
Sin thi souffles aw shrunk,
An mi gran geet drunk,
an mi dad sadly ran eawt o' beer.
Aye, ah'm reight luckin' for'ard tu Christmas,
After last yer when t' trimmin's set fire,
Ignited wi t' candle
Mi gran fell o'er t' mangle,
Wi thowt oo wer' gooin to expire.
Last yer, mi mam, poor owd lass,
Fergeet tu pay t' gas booard fer t' gas,
Thi woodn'd led 'er off,
Sooah wi'd no turkey tu skoff
An t' sprouts wer' as raw as green grass.
Sooah last yer, ah think, used up eawr bad luck
Ah 'ope this yer as nowt gus awry,
But just in case,
Tu save mi mams loss o' face,
Wi've geet a giant Meawrks an Spencers pooerk pie!
Christmas Will-o-The Wisp
Outward, out, on Christmas eve,
No sleigh scarred snow, no trail to leave.
No footprints of racing deer,
No sign that Santa passed by here.
Outward, out, a million miles,
He knows the number of children's smiles,
He knows what special toys beguiles
No footprints on the roofing tiles.
Outward, out, at the speed of light,
Sleigh and reindeer through the night,
Hurry, scurry, the dawn somes soon,
Fleeting shadow across the moon.
Outward, out, mission in the dark,
All earth rotates to awake the lark,
The sleigh has gone as the daylight grows,
It's Christmas day as the cockeral crows.
And none shall know, and none shall see,
How powerful the miracle worked by he,
The bearded benefactor in red and white,
Who brought such joy to the world tonight